The Secrets of “Magic Cream” Revealed!

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Would you like an alternative to painful Brazilian wax jobs, embarrassing laser treatments and ugly razor bumps? 
Prepare to be awed.  Be informed. And a little embarrassed!

About ten years ago, when I was pregnant with my first baby, I was a regular lurker on the “bargain board” at Babycenter.com. Yes, this was LONG before the launch of countless money-saving websites and blogs. It was an old-school forum where moms-to-be would share their deals and hot bargains, but also pass along other useful information.

And this, my friends, is where I learned of a hidden beauty product that changed my world….well, ahem…the world of my nether regions.

It’s called: Magic Cream!  A razorless beard remover, “formulated exclusively for black men.” Yep, that’s what the label says. But somehow, somewhere, someone took a giant step for woman-kind and boldly took her lady parts where no man’s had gone before.  And discovered…

“A Wonder for Down Yonder”

“Like Nair for Down There”

“It’s Right Smart for Your Lady Parts”

Now, instead of enduring painful Brazilian style wax jobs or spending your grocery money on laser hair removal, you can head to Amazon or your local CVS or Walgreens and pick up a can of Magic Shaving Powder for around $3. FYI…if you buy the blue can, prepare for your entire house to smell like rotten eggs. I usually opt for the “fragrant” gold and black can, although it’s fairly pungent, too.

It’s a great alternative to a bikini wax or laser hair removal where some stranger is getting all up in your business.

So exactly how does the magic happen???  Just follow these simple instructions:

Brazilian bikini wax job laser hair removal alternative

 

1. Place 2 tablespoons of the powder in a bowl. Then, add about 3 tablespoons of water.

brazilian bikini wax laser hair removal alternative

 

2. Mix well, until you get a smooth consistency – not too runny, not too thick.

brazilian bikini wax laser hair removal alternative

 

3. Now, strip down and stand in the bathtub (because even though it’s “magic,” it still drips), and pour the cream over your woman goodies, undercarriage, va-jay-jay, crotch rocket, whatever you call it.  Be sure to spread the cream around with your fingers, front to back.  Yes, I said it.  All the way around. Front. To. Back. We want to be well-rounded, hairless individuals, don’t we?

(Sorry. No picture included for this step!)

 

4. And if you weren’t feeling awkward enough.  Here’s the best part…wait 5 to 10 minutes.  Uh, huh, stand in your bathroom, sans clothing on your lower extremities and wait. And wait. And just wait.  The coarseness of hair determines how long you should keep it on.  After five minutes, give the hair a little tug.  If it pulls off, get a wet rag and remove the rest. If it’s still hanging on for dear life, wait another minute or two.

The timing is vital.  If you you wash it off before the “magic” is complete.  You’ll LOOK like a balding Hugh Laurie…

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But if you leave it on too long, you FEEL like there’s a hot lava explosion in your party pants…

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5. That’s it. Your lady business is now as smooth as a baby’s…well, you know!  Keep in mind, the hair does grows back and those first few days of stubble will not be your favorites. Sorry. But I speak the truth in love.

6 COMMENTS

  1. This was hil.ar.i.ous. Has mothering 3 boys brought you to the point where you use words like these with such ease??

  2. Well, I tried to incorporate “toot, fart or burp” somewhere in the post, but felt it would compromised the integrity of such a noteworthy journalistic piece of work! =)

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